Send your own ElfYourself eCards

It's All About Perspective

I love when I pick up the camera and find a bunch of random photos...

          Grace, barf bowl at-the-ready, watching T.V.

          What Grace was watching (The Saddle Club).

          Me.  Or part of me, anyway.

          Probably a fire hazard.

          Yet another shot of the T.V.  Which show has giant ants on it?

          Trucks on YouTube.

And the culprit at last!  It's always interesting to see the world through a three-year-old's camera lens.

Hair it is

Here's a photo of my new haircut.  Or, rather, my attempts to get a picture of it. How do people take photos of themselves all the time? Well, here's what I got, anyway. And I totally touched up all my blemishes so that's why I look so very amazing.

This was the most natural.

I actually like this one, but you can't really see the hair.

Looking kind of suspicious.  Best shot of the hair, though.

One of those come-hither photos you'd see on a dating website. Hmmm. I think we'll go with that one. Never mind what the hair looks like.

10 Things

So a friend of a friend (thank you, Kat) whose blog I read gave me an assignment of sorts.  I am supposed to write ten honest things about myself.  But before that a disclaimer is in order.  I do not pass on chain letters.  Yep, I'm one of those humbugs that will never keep a recipe chain going or forward those feel-good "pass this on to 10 friends and something amazing will happen to you!" emails that get circulated around cyberspace.  But, I do find these little challenges to write about oneself useful.  I always learn something new about my friends when they do them, so maybe you will learn something new about me.  Should you care to follow suit, I will gladly read your 10 things.

1- I have a short temper.  People don't believe me because I appear very calm on the outside. My kids and husband can tell you differently. I'm much better than I used to be, but any improvement has come only through constant effort and many failures.

2- I don't like video games. A lot of them give me motion sickness.

3- I love to read but rarely do it.  I like the classics.  If I start a good book I get so involved in it I want finish it all in one sitting.  This doesn't work well when you have three kids to take care of and a billion other things to do.

4- I say exactly what I think.  That's what I've been told, anyway.  I'm not sure whether it's a compliment or not, but I'd like to think so.  If you ask me a question you'll get an honest answer.

5- I'm a night owl.

6- I like to cook.

7- I am a sucker for baked goods.

8- I am so grateful I have the opportunity to be a mother, though it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

9- I wish I was more outgoing and fun to be around.

10- Marrying my husband--best thing I ever did.

Parenting Faux Pas

Grace had a question for me tonight at bedtime. She took me over to a bookshelf in the hallway outside her bedroom. Did this book title really say what she thought it did?

No doubt, a book of this nature in one's home would be an alarming discovery for any child.  I bent down to look at the book more closely and began to laugh. Grace didn't like that until I explained to her why it was so funny. It might help to see the book cover in its entirety...

...and to know that my husband's hobby is photography.  Rest assured, Grace, the only shooting we'll be doing around here will be with the camera!

Red Ribbon Week

Last week was Red Ribbon Week at our elementary school. The PTA puts on all kinds of activities to help the students learn about the dangers of drug and alcohol use. Often the police department will come and do a demonstration with their canine unit to show how dogs help them in the fight against drugs which is always a big hit with the kids.

A couple of days ago, Grace said to me, "We (she and her best friend, pictured above) were playing a fun thing at recess."

"What was it?" I asked.

She paused a moment and replied, "I don't want to tell you."  (She always worries that people will think something she does is silly or make fun of her for it.  I don't know why because we never have.)

"You can tell me," I reassured her.

"Well, O.K., I'll tell you. We like to pretend that we're dogs sniffing for drugs in the snow.  When we find them we dig them up. It's really fun!"

I'm not sure that's exactly what the PTA had in mind for the kids to learn from Red Ribbon week, but it does sound like fun. It reminds me of the days when my friend Shelley and I would play army at recess, crawling around on our stomachs to avoid enemy fire. Or another favorite--rock people where the evil queen was always ordering the beheading of some unfortunate prisoner. We had a pit full of little rock heads by the end of our fourth grade year.  A bit dark for fourth grade girls, but we turned out perfectly fine, so whether it's drug sniffing dogs or executioners, I suppose there's nothing wrong with a little imagination.  What did you play at recess?

The Bat

That comment about the bat in my last post seemed to hit a nerve with a couple of you and deserves an explanation.

For years we have vacationed with Darrel's side of the family at Bear Lake. It's beautiful and mountainous up there and a perfect place to just get away from it all.

We had stayed in time-share condos near the beach in years prior. But the year after we got married, there were enough Chamberlains that we needed to rent two condos to accommodate everyone, one on the first floor and a second floor condo right above it. Darrel and I got a bedroom in the latter condo, which seemed like a little piece of heaven because we wouldn't be awakened in the morning by early risers.   Ahhhhh...

We went to bed the first night of the vacation. I don't remember if I had already fallen asleep or only Darrel had when I became aware of an unsettling rush of air very close to my head. Weird. Then again. There was definitely something flying around our room! I instinctively covered my head with the blankets and quickly woke Darrel with a panicked whisper, "Darrel, I think there's a bat in our room!!" I don't know why my mind immediately jumped to "bat", but it did. Darrel and I laid there in the dark, listening to an eerie scratching sound. Darrel finally reached over and turned on a light and we cringed in the bed, looking around for the culprit.

Our nighttime visitor quickly made a horror show type appearance from behind the long curtains covering a tall window on the outside wall. I swear that thing crawled around the curtain it was hanging on, fangs bared and ready to eat us alive. And it was huge. It started flying around again and we dove under the covers. Now what? There was only one thing to do...and I made Darrel do it. I WAS NOT getting out of that bed! Poor Darrel! I thought there was nothing worse than running into a spider or other insect in your underwear (or worse, in the shower when you're completely naked and vulnerable) until we ran into that bat! Definitely worse. Darrel grabbed a pillow and ran for the far side of the room. He began to swat at it as it dive-bombed him until he successfully knocked it to the floor and covered it with the pillow. We didn't wait around to see if it crawled out. We grabbed our clothes and ran out the door as fast as we could on shaky legs.

Out on the landing between the two floors we ran into Darrel's dad who had come up to investigate the commotion. He was unsure whether to knock on our door or leave us alone. After all, we were newlyweds. Maybe we were "busy". We thought that was hilarious and related the story of the creature from the crypt. We went downstairs and pulled out the very lumpy and uncomfortable sofa sleeper and tried, unsuccessfully, to get some rest.

 

The next morning we worked up our courage and went back to the scene of the crime.  I don't know think I even dared go in the room, but Darrel and one of his brothers finally did it and gingerly lifted the pillow just enough to make sure the bat was still there.  The poor thing had suffocated and looked rather flat and somehow much smaller in daylight, about the size of a rat. With wings stretched out it was more imposing, but still not quite as big and sinister as I remembered it. Still, it's not the kind of thing you want flying around your bedroom at night.

After the Year of the Bat, we became aware that all those "birds" flying around Bear Lake at dusk are not really birds at all.

Have You Ever...

-been irritated by a mess left by a child on your kitchen table, only to remember the tiny little scraps of paper and tape were made by none other than yourself?

-stuck your foot in your mouth?

-had a dream that you were on a date, then as the date went on, began to remember that you had been married to someone else for years and have children?

-caught your child doing something good?

-eaten most of the dozen chocolate chip cookies you baked "for the kids"?

-fallen off a runaway horse?

-ridden an elephant?

-played Yahtzee?

-been the butt of a joke?

-had a bat (the live kind) flying around your bedroom in the dark?

-been so excited for Christmas to come that you could hardly sleep?

-been so at odds with a child that you wondered how you could possibly have been meant to be this child's mother (but know that you were meant to be at the same time)?

-prayed to remember a special moment in your life forever?

-had a really bad hair day?

I have.  Some more recently than others.  

Halloween Fun

We compressed most of our Halloween fun into one very busy week this year.  

Monday was Family Night so we carved our pumpkins. We've usually done this Halloween night for some stupid reason. Why it never dawned on me to do it for Family Night instead so we weren't rushing around trying to squeeze that in before trick-or-treating is beyond me. Live and learn, I guess. Spencer is old enough to carve his own pumpkin now, so it's fun to see what he comes up with. Grace designed hers by herself (a mean face) and let Darrel do the cutting. Justin's request was a "happy baby face"on his. They all turned out very cute and somehow fitting with their personalities.

Thursday was the big day at school with a Halloween parade and class parties (with which I didn't help at all this year--nice break!). I will not get into all the drama that surrounded trying to find Spencer a costume, or Grace's worry that everyone would think she looked silly as a hula dancer (silly on Halloween--isn't that the point?).  Suffice it to say, that took up Tuesday and Wednesday.

Friday was a day off school, so a group of moms from my neighborhood planned a visit to a pumpkin patch in Syracuse. I almost didn't go when I woke up to a drizzly freezing cold morning, but I decided that was better than staying home in the dark (the power was out). We dressed warm and the weather was actually O.K. We went to the same pumpkin patch last year, so the kids were excited knowing all the fun things they would get to do: a tractor ride to pick their own pumpkins, giant (and probably not up to code) slides that are super fun, a corn maze, a giant inflatable jack-o-lantern to jump in and farm animals. We stopped and got pizza to eat in the car on the way home, so that topped off our fun outing.

Halloween night we had a potluck dinner with our neighbors to kick off the trick-or-treating. Spencer switched from an animal trainer (his school parade costume) to a duck hunter, complete with yellow labrador retriever and mud for camouflage on his face. Grace was still doing the hula and Justin was a fireman. Darrel took the little goblins around for candy while I handed it out to all the little goblins at home. The kids came back with their buckets full and have been eating ever since.  Have at it, I say!  The sooner it's gone the better.

My big accomplishment for Halloween was only having a few pieces of Halloween candy left-over from handing it out. Hooray!  

Brooke, This Post is for You

First of all, feel free to plagiarize this post in it's entirety if you are too tired to blog tonight. My little gift to you. Or maybe Amy will do it for you.

Second, I thought you might like to know what your girls were up to today. 

 

Lucy had a good day at school.  No homework, which we were both excited about.  Either that or her homework folder is lost somewhere at Sarah's, Teri's, Summer's, Natalie's or Sharon's house. She went right to the sand box when she got to my house.  Then she was a great helper at the grocery store where we ran to get something for lunch (she chose her "favorite" pizza--Totino's with pepperoni that she thought was bacon--I wasn't about to tell her any different) and pumpkins to carve later before we picked up Abbi and Justin from preschool.

Abbi had a fabulous time at Saylor's Halloween party.  She dressed as Belle and undressed in bits and pieces all the way back to my house. Turns out glass slippers, while beautiful and fashionable, are not all that practical for long (or short) walks anywhere.  Once she freed herself from those she was able to get back to her usual comfortable pace (a run).

They spent most of the rest of the afternoon running from the sandbox to the swing set playing Alvin and The Chipmunks.  When Grace got home from school, Lucy was quickly enraptured by her and Grace was all too happy to lead the girls around keeping them busy with things like blowing bubbles, "flying" on the swing and making movies on Webkinz.

Dinner was homemade chicken noodle soup and cornbread which they ate ravenously. All that running around, I'm thinking. That and being too busy for snacks all afternoon. 

After dinner we had family night where we carved pumpkins. The girls were a little hesitant to stick their hands into the goopy mess to clean out the pumpkins, but they both did some (Lucy cleaned almost all of her pumpkin herself!).  Abbi requested a "happy face" on her pumpkin and Lucy (surprise!) asked for a "happy princess". I think she had in mind an entire princess in full ball gown on the pumpkin like the one that you stenciled on last Halloween, but once she saw it all lit up she decided it wasn't half bad. (She looks a bit strained in the photo, but we were having lots of fun. You can tell by the ring of chocolate around her mouth).  We lit the jack-o-lanterns and put them on the window sill for Andy to see when he gets home from work.

That first photo there was just in case you'd been missing that scene in your basement.  There's no place like home.  See you soon!  And, of course, your girls can't wait.  I was told at least three times that "Mom is coming home tomorrow!"

The Gum Fairy

Bedtime around here is a time of ritual. Scriptures, prayers, bathroom, brushing teeth and reading in bed. Darrel and I trade off nights wrangling the kids and we always take the opportunity to snuggle by each child in turn to get a little one on one time with them. Each is a unique experience. Justin squirms and talks a lot in an attempt to avoid falling asleep (which he does quickly once he can finally hold still for a few seconds in row). Spencer is often more talkative and forthcoming at the end of the day and sometimes we get a glimpse into our otherwise tight-lipped boy's life this way. Grace insists on lots of conversation and is always hopeful for a story. She especially loves stories about something "real you did when you were little".  

Lots of times I can't think of any new stories to tell her, but one night I came up with a doozy. I told her how I became the Pony Fairy. Hasbro's My Little Pony toys came out for the first time when I was probably 10 or 11. My younger brother and sister loved them, so I would save up the money I earned delivering newspapers and use some of it to buy them new ponies. Every so often on a Friday night, I would be informed by the powers that be that the Pony Fairy would be visiting and Taylor and Liza could expect a new pony under their pillows in the morning. It was great fun for us all.

Several weeks ago, the Gum Fairy started visiting our house. Well, Justin, specifically (Justin loves gum). It took a couple of visits before I realized the origins of the Gum Fairy.  

Our Gum Fairy works something like this: Each Thursday, she chooses a package of gum as her reward for reaching her goal for piano practicing. She always opens hers in the car on the way home from her lesson, takes a piece or two for herself, then runs in the house to hide the rest of the package under Justin's pillow. She'll come out of his room excitedly to find him, "Justin, the Gum Fairy came!". Off he runs with her to his room where, sure enough, the Gum Fairy has left a wonderful surprise.  

Funny that it took me a few weeks to add this all up, but so sweet to see my daughter's generous heart.  

Things That Go Bump in the Night

I should have know when I married Darrel that I'd be in for some interesting nights. I knew he snored--loudly. I had even heard the story of him at his aunt's house in California.  They were staying with them while on vacation when Darrel was about 5.  Well after the kids had gone to sleep, Darrel's parents heard the doorbell ring. They opened the door to find Darrel standing there in his pajamas. He had sleepwalked himself right out the back door, around the house, and to the front door (thank heavens not somewhere else!). He still wasn't awake when they answered the door.

Our nights have been pretty tame for the most part, with the exception of a couple of experiences and probably some that I have forgotten. 

Several years ago I was fast asleep when I woke to a sort of rustle-y, scratchy noise on the pillow right above my head! Now, having had a close encounter with a bat in the middle of the night once before, my mind immediately jumped to the conclusion that there was some sort of creature, maybe a mouse, on my pillow.  I sat up in a panic to find Darrel's arm stretched all the way across the bed with his hand resting on my pillow.  Thanks for the adrenaline rush, honey.

Now to the latest.  I was sleeping peacefully at 3:20 a.m. this morning when Darrel bolted upright in bed.  He was looking past me to the middle of the room and said, "What's going on?" I said "What?" and he said, "What's wrong?", very alarmed.  "Nothing that I know of," I replied. I should have know by how quickly he went back to sleep that he wasn't really awake, but by then the adrenaline was pumping and I was thinking maybe he'd been inspired to wake up and alert me to some danger.  I should have been suspicious when he laid back down  and left me to contend with whatever that was.  But I couldn't go back to sleep after that.  So I crept downstairs to check on the kids, then came back up to check on Justin and get back in bed.  All was well. Except for me being wide awake. 

Catharsis

I'm writing this post purely for me. I have to put some order to all the chaos in my mind right now.

There isn't going to be a baby. We found out today that our birth mother decided to place her baby with another family. My mind is flooded with "why?" questions.  The why questions don't really help, but I ask them anyway. Why another family after letting things get this far?  Why can't I simply take comfort in knowing that I have three wonderful children? Why can't I stop crying? Was it some oversight of my own that got me in this position? Why did this even happen anyway? Why can't we just have kids like everyone else can?! There are more but I'm tired of them.

I feel like I've been pregnant for the past two years only to find out that my baby didn't live.  I don't know how to deal with it. My head hurts from crying. So I cry some more and try to make sense of something that doesn't really make sense and probably never will. I know there are many worse situations to be in out there in this world. I know there is misery beyond what I can even fathom, but I can only deal with my own set of problems in my own sphere, limited as it may be.

More questions. I wish I could turn my brain off. What do I do now? Can I even trust my own intuition/spiritual radar anymore? How do I talk to people about this? I don't really want to, but I also don't want the rest of the world to go on like nothing has happened. Are we supposed to have any more children or not?

A few hours after the news, I went into the nursery and packed up all the new baby boy clothes I bought.  I just can't have them sitting there.  It's bad enough to have a nursery all ready that I'm not going to take down because there's no where else to put the stuff.  I called our caseworker and asked her to come pick them up along with a short note for our birth mom and a note to the family that will be adopting her baby.  I tucked all the little things back in the basket that our birth mom gave us when she announced to us that she'd chosen us to adopt her baby. The new family she chooses will be getting very short notice about their baby and will need them. Besides, I bought them for Bryce, so with Bryce they will go.  I take down the letters spelling out Bryce's name from the wall.  

Amy, you wondered what it's like waiting for someone else to have your baby.  I might as well ask you what it's like to feel a baby kicking inside you. All of my children are adopted so it's all I've ever known, and it comes with a level of anxiety inherent to adoption. And I never know which way it will go until that baby is home in my arms...or not. But I have to hope and plan and dream, anyway because I can't hold back. I'm grateful for three birth moms that suffered more, I'm sure, than I am because they felt their babies belonged with us. So bittersweet, adoption.

Well, there.  The tears have stopped spilling over and my thoughts have run their course for the moment.  I'm sure there will be more, but for now that's enough.

T-minus Two Weeks!

That's right, we're almost down to the wire, folks!  Bryce is due in just two weeks (or less!).  I promised several of you photos of the nursery, so here they are.  We can't wait!

Sunflower King

Spencer has an inherent need to plant seeds.  He's been doing it ever since he knew what seeds were for.  He'd find seed pods for noxious weeds out on walks and I'd find them later in his pockets (which I quickly learned to empty BEFORE doing the laundry).  If he did remember to actually plant them, he'd dig a hole in the middle of a flower bed or in a pot full of dirt and wait for them to grow.  He usually forgot about them, but occasionally he'd ask why his seeds hadn't grown.  I never did personally sabotage these plantings, but I have to admit I was glad nothing ever seemed to grow.

A couple of years ago a primary teacher gave Spencer and Grace zinnia seeds to plant in a cup. They sprouted readily and we planted them in the flower bed and they grew to be pretty huge and full of flowers. Quite the lesson on faith, those seeds.

This summer, Spencer was determined to grow some more flowers. He made me take him to the garden store when there was still snow on the ground so he could see which flowers he wanted and how much they would cost. He worked hard and earned the money he would would need for the seeds, $10 to be exact. Back at the garden store a month later, he carefully selected the packets of seeds and we took them home and planted them.  We followed all the planting directions, but the only things hardy enough to come up in our miserably poor soil were the sunflowers.  

Spencer was happy enough with that and watched them grow until they were a few inches tall. Then, one morning, the sprouts were nowhere to be found.  Vanished!  Oh, the pestilence that is snails! Spencer was heartbroken, and rightly so. Rotten snails. I promised him I would buy new sunflower seeds for him...and some snail bait.

The summer is almost at an end and the sunflower package didn't lie. Spencer's sunflowers are as tall as 10 feet and loaded with seeds. This, it turns out, was the reason Spencer selected sunflowers. He had dreamed all summer of harvesting the seeds and roasting them. Don't worry, there are PLENTY of seeds. Spencer proudly showed them all to me tonight. So now I'll be looking up how to roast sunflower seeds on the internet.

And somehow, I have a feeling a few of those seeds will be spared from the oven and stuffed into a pocket or tucked away in a ziploc bag for another spring.