Amazing Grace

I still haven't posted about Disneyworld. I'll get to that eventually, but I didn't want to let another day go by without a birthday post for my Grace.

Grace wasn't a surprise in the same way Spencer was. About a year before she was born, I knew she'd be a girl and already had her named. Darrel wasn't sure about the name at first (it is his maternal grandmother's), but I was persistent and he warmed up to it. It was another 8 months before we found out Grace was coming. We felt just as excited and honored to be chosen by a choice birth mother as we had a year and a half prior when Spencer was on his way. Tia was still not far enough along for an ultrasound when we started writing letters back and forth, but at our first face to face visit she gave us the ultrasound pictures and video. We were ecstatic!

The next five months were spent corresponding with Tia back and forth from St. George, Utah. We loved getting letters from her and hearing about her life as well as how our little Gracie was doing.  We readied the nursery, bought baby girl clothes, and a new van to fit our growing family.  I remember it being a very peaceful, fulfilling time of preparation.

A few weeks before Grace was due, we got a call from our caseworker telling us that Grace's birth father may be taking legal action to stop the adoption.  We worried, wondering what would come of it all.  As we pondered the situation, we received a reassurance that Grace was supposed to be ours and that we needed to do everything possible to fight for her.  At that point in time the one tangible thing we could do was pray.  We asked all our family to join us in praying and fasting that, by whatever means, her birth father would be prevented from interfering with the adoption.  I thought about what would happen if a legal battle ensued and six months down the road we were forced by the birth father's actions to give Grace back to Tia. I decided I could do it. I knew Tia loved Grace and that she'd be O.K. if it came to that, but deep down I felt sure that Grace would come home.

We didn't hear another word from the birth father. We got a call the morning of January 23rd from our caseworker saying that Tia had gone into the hospital the day before to be induced. He told us he'd call back when he knew more. I couldn't stand just sitting there waiting. I had to do something! I started cleaning out my kitchen cupboards. I was watching two nephews for my sister-in-law who was sick and in the hospital just a month after giving birth to her baby boy. I waited and scrubbed.  I waited and organized.  It was all I could do.  I remember being outside watching Spencer play in the front yard when the phone rang that afternoon.  I ran to answer it. Tia was dilated to a 7 or 8 and they expected she'd be delivering soon.  We would get a call later.  AAAAHHHH!

The hours following were no easier than the first.  My mother-in-law called to let me know that Jenny wasn't doing well and maybe my nephews would be sleeping over. I knew it wasn't my mother-in-law's fault and I was glad to help Jenny during what turned out to be a lengthy and trying hospital stay for her, but what I wanted to yell to everyone was, "Can't you see I'm in labor here!!??"It was an emotional labor for me, not a physical, but labor, nonetheless.

  

The nephews ended up going home after dinner with their dad and I could attend to my own needs again. Still no word. Then about 7 p.m. Tia's caseworker called. Grace had arrived, healthy, and Tia was exhausted after 30 hours of labor and would call us around 10 p.m. that night. The call came as expected and we heard for the first time about our beautiful dark-haired baby girl. They called her a "Slurpee" baby because she was 7 lbs. 11 oz. We couldn't wait to see her!

Tia decided she wanted to spend some time with Grace at home as she'd been at the hospital for so long. We were more than happy for her to do that. People have asked me if I worry about our birth mothers spending  so much time with their babies, but I don't. I get to have my baby for the rest of eternity. What's another day? I know the extra time makes it hard for those sweet girls to say goodbye, but I want for them to have good memories of their brief time with their little ones. We made arrangements to stay in Cedar City that weekend so we could pick Grace up at the adoption agency on Saturday.

The scene that met us that Saturday broke my heart. Janet, Tia's mom, was sitting in a recliner in the caseworker's office holding the most precious bundle. They had dressed Grace in a cute little Valentine outfit. It was so touching to me that Tia would want to present Grace to us with such love and care. My first thought as Janet handed Grace to me and I looked down at her on my lap was, "She's a bruiser!" --but a beautiful one. Tia had felt too sick to be at the placement. We called her on the phone from the office. Tia was so worried that Grace would think she wasn't loved. We assured her that she would always know what great love it took to place her with another family. We felt so sad that Tia had to go on without Grace, and yet joyful at the same time for the future we had with our little girl.

So Grace came home. We had left Spencer with his grandparents for the day we were gone. He was waiting ,watching out the window when our car pulled in. We were all together again.

As with each addition to our family, it has never been the same since. Grace adds a much needed dimension to our family. She is exuberant. She is sensitive. She is emotional (oh, how emotional!). She does everything she does with all of herself. She is hot or cold and not much inbetween. Grace is a worrier. She is bright and quick. She is comforting. She is caring. She is an excellent friend and a model student. She is funny and fun-loving. She is talkative. She is loud. She is determined. She is generous. She is strong. She is amazing.

When Justin was a baby, I was frustrated with his constant dissatisfaction with life in general, and his inability to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. I laid him down one afternoon, crying, in his crib. I'd had it. I was tired. I was frazzled. I was coming unglued. I called Darrel to come home from work but it would take some time for him to get there. I sat in a rocking chair in the living room, tense and angry and sobbing in despair. Where were the much needed people that are inspired to come help when one is in crisis (or so I've read about in the Ensign and heard about in talks at church)? I prayed for someone to come, but there was no knock at the door or ring of the phone. I was alone. Grace found me upstairs. She was never out of contact for long. She saw my distress and climbed up on my lap to ask why I was crying, not just because she was curious or wanted it to stop, but because she really cared. I could feel that from her. I told her and she leaned her head against me and I held her close, rocking back and forth until Darrel got home. 

 

It wasn't until just recently that I fully realized my prayers had been answered that day. I was looking in the Bible dictionary and came upon the definition of the word grace, something I had never read before. "A divine means of help or strength." Grace is and always has been this. Tia always called Grace her angel and told of the comfort she felt Grace giving to her during her pregnancy. I was grateful to be taught of one of my daughter's spiritual gifts in such a profound way. While Grace is my most challenging child in many ways, I am ever mindful of the blessing she is to our family and to Darrel and I as parents.  We love you Gracie!  Happy Birthday!