They Say It's Your Birthday

The big day is here.  Spencer has reached the decade mark!  And what a decade it's been!  It's funny how certain of your childrens' birthdays seem to stand out and make you take stock of all the changes in your life.  This has been one of them.  I never thought of 10 as that significant. Just one of those mile markers between 8 and 12 where the "big" things happen.  But 10 is big. It's ten years since Darrel and I became parents, and that's something.

Last night I was keenly aware of the difference Spencer has made in our lives.  I thought back to those treasured memories I have, still crystal clear after 10 years, of finding out that we would finally be able to have a baby after 4 years of wondering.  It was just before Christmas when we were told that our sweet birth mother, Erin, had chosen us as Spencer's family.  I remember hearing the Hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah over and over in my mind (and I'm not really a music person so that was significant).  "For, unto us a son is born!"  I imagined my joy was akin to Mary's as she discovered that she was to be the mother of the Messiah here on earth.  I still have tender feelings when I read about Mary's reaction to the news that she would bear the Christ child and the beautiful lines in the scriptures, "But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart." 

Two weeks to wait...two weeks!!!  On New Year's Eve I was tucking Spencer in (and I will keep doing that as long as he'll let me!). As I snuggled next to him I told him about a New Year's Eve ten years ago when I was still working as a nurse in the Newborn ICU.  I told him my stomach had been in a knot and I'd hardly been able to think of anything except for him and how I couldn't wait until he was born.  We hadn't told anyone yet, including family, about his impending arrival, wanting to wait until we were ready to board a plane to Seattle.  You never know how adoption will go for sure, after all.  We didn't want to break everyone else's hearts along with our own if things didn't go as expected.  But as I took care of babies that night, I felt happy and content with my little secret.

January 4, 2000 I decided to go snow boarding.  The snow was fresh and it was a beautiful day. I was half-way up the mountain at Brighton on the Snake Creek lift when my cell phone rang with Darrel bringing the news that our baby boy was born.  This was a surprise as we thought he was supposed to be a she.  It wasn't a bad thing, but like going to take a drink of water when you're expecting Sprite, it takes a mind shift.  I told Darrel I'd be right home and all the way down through the lovely powder I said to myself, "I have a baby boy!".  And I was ready.

That night we invited our parents over for dinner and to have them look at the nursery which we'd been putting together for a couple of months. We put "It's a Boy!" balloons in the room and had everyone take a look at what was new.  My mom caught it first (she hates surprises, but she was a good sport about being caught off-guard). Darrel's mom told us later she saw the balloons and thought, sadly, "Those aren't going to last until they get a baby." And then she realized that we were getting a baby!  The next day we flew to Seattle.

I haven't found a way to describe to someone that hasn't experienced our type of adoption quite how it all works.  So much of it is truly sacred.  It's a mingling of spirit, sorrow, gratitude, joy and love, love, love beyond my own ability to comprehend.  It is felt more than understood.  Or, rather, you understand it with your heart.  It is simply amazing.  Amazing.

So here are a few words about Spencer and some pictures of him through the years.  Spencer is: peaceful, kind, loving, the best big brother, bright, inquisitive, always right, knows what he wants, brave, capable, fun-loving, a thinker, patient, creative, an animal lover, athletic, a cowboy, an adventurer, a Cub Scout, a handy-man, a computer/video game expert, a right hand man, a good friend...and so much more.  Oh, my Spencer, how I love you!  Happy Birthday!